Delivery

Delivery!!

At 1:15pm ish I got the GO to start pushing.  This part was easy for me!  I felt like I was finally in control and wanted to meet Benjamin so bad!  After having real casual conversations with our doctor Liza and Tricia, and giving 3 big pushes for each contraction, Ben was born at 2:02pm!!

It was the most surreal moment in my life when they put little Benjamin, well HUGE Benjamin on my chest.  I remember thinking that he was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen.  He didn't have any yukky white stuff or blood on him, probably due to the fact that he stayed in there so long it all came off.  Ha!  Mr. Five Days Late!

I remember thinking his arms and hands were huge!

8 pounds 15 ounces

There were some scary complications after delivery.  I spiked a fever of 106 and had hemorrhaging.  I lost twice as much blood as a woman should have.  It took about an hour and a half to warm my body up.  I was feeling very cold and had uncontrollable shaking because of the 106 temperature.  

I asked for the doctors to take Benjamin after only 10 minutes of "kangaroo care".  I just couldn't stop shaking.  This was probably one of the most saddest moments of my life not getting to hold Benjamin longer.  I'm that girl who was obsessed with watching baby shows.  I knew what to expect.  I looked forward to having the moment that many of the women in the shows had with their babies after delivery.  It was also super sad because I felt like Tyler and I were cheated on that special bond time with Ben during his first moments of life.    

I always knew I wanted to be a mother and go through pregnancy, labor and delivery.  It still saddens me to think that I didn't have the ideal post delivery, but I am so grateful for my health and Benjamin's health.  In that moment of crisis, I thought of the things that were most important to me.  I just wanted to come out of the whole situation alive and healthy to be a mother to my new baby boy and to continue to share a wonderful life with Tyler, my rock.  He is the reason why I am here and why I want to live.  He talked me through the after shock of the delivery and did everything he could to calm me.  It is Tyler who gives me purpose in life and now my baby Benjamin.    

Enough of the super sad and scary talk... let's get to some great photos!!

After a couple days of recuperation and practicing being parents at the hospital, we were trusted to leave with our child.  Oh boy!

Random pic because I couldn't figure out how to drag it to the bottom of the screen... lol

This is a pic of Brinley and Benjamin.  Brinley was born 11 days after Benjamin!  

Ben in his basinet at the hospital.

Ben and Daddy

Another "out or order" pic.  This is a pic from before Benjamin was born.  Tyler was there for me, seeing me through every contraction.  His feet rest on the medicine ball that DID NOT help at all!!

Seeing Ben for the first time after I was able to come out of the shock episode post delivery.  This was the most amazing moment.  I was in awe of this little life that I brought into the world.  I knew that I was meant to be a mother to Ben and that Tyler and I were going to do our very best to give him the world!

Big yawn

The doctors thought Ben had jaundice.  This is a pic from his first doc appointment 3 days after birth.  I think they went into the nursery at the hospital, saw his name was Benjamin Burns, thought to themselves... this Ben Burns shouldn't have yellow skin.... BUT once we walked into the doctor's office and they saw that Mr. Ben Burn's mommy had yellow, Asian skin, they threw the whole "jaundice" thing out of the window.  Ha!  That's just my theory.